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Modest Pie

The Indian Way

Ever since Mikey was a child, he had always had a fear that someone was under his bed at night. One day he decided to end this fear and went to see a psychiatrist for…

Drink and Walk

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to…

A Sex Show

Mick says to Paddy, “Close your bloody curtains the next time you’re screwing the brains out of yer wife dammit! All the neighbours were pissing themselves laughing at you yesterday!” “Well…,” said Paddy, “the laugh…

The Flag Pole

Mick and Paddy are trying to estimate the height of a flag pole. They stand there looking up at the flag pole without an ounce of an idea of how to go about it. A…

3 Irishmen in a Bar

Paddy, Mick and Liam went for a few rounds of beer at a local bar. Paddy says, “My local’s better than this. In my local, you buy 2 drinks and the third is free!” Mick…

Bed Exercise

A boy went into his parents’ bedroom and saw them having sex. Seeing his mum bouncing on his dad, the boy asked, “Mum, what are you doing?” Shocked, flabbergasted and quickly thinking, mum said, “I’m…

Gorilla on Heat

Paddy visits the zoo one day and found himself in front of the gorilla cage. The zookeeper happens to be nearby and asks Paddy, “The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have…

Paddy Goes Fishing

Mick and Paddy go to the local river every Sunday morning, hire a boat and go fishing. One day, they were in a particularly good spot and they were reeling in fish after fish. Mick…

Monkey Found

Paddy finds a monkey by the side of the road, but doesn’t know what to do with it. He brings the monkey home and asks his neighbour, “Hey Mick, I found this monkey…what should I…

Double Murder

Mick was in court for a double murder. The judge said, “You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner…” A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, “You bastard!”…