Mick says to Paddy, “Close your bloody curtains the next time you’re screwing the brains out of yer wife dammit! All the neighbours were pissing themselves laughing at you yesterday!” “Well…,” said Paddy, “the laugh…
Modest Pie
Mick and Paddy are trying to estimate the height of a flag pole. They stand there looking up at the flag pole without an ounce of an idea of how to go about it. A…
Paddy, Mick and Liam went for a few rounds of beer at a local bar. Paddy says, “My local’s better than this. In my local, you buy 2 drinks and the third is free!” Mick…
A boy went into his parents’ bedroom and saw them having sex. Seeing his mum bouncing on his dad, the boy asked, “Mum, what are you doing?” Shocked, flabbergasted and quickly thinking, mum said, “I’m…
Paddy visits the zoo one day and found himself in front of the gorilla cage. The zookeeper happens to be nearby and asks Paddy, “The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have…
Mick and Paddy go to the local river every Sunday morning, hire a boat and go fishing. One day, they were in a particularly good spot and they were reeling in fish after fish. Mick…
Paddy finds a monkey by the side of the road, but doesn’t know what to do with it. He brings the monkey home and asks his neighbour, “Hey Mick, I found this monkey…what should I…
Mick was in court for a double murder. The judge said, “You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner…” A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, “You bastard!”…
Two Irishmen were walking down a street in Manchester, when they see a shop with the following sign in the window: One says to the other, “Look at the fecking prices of those, we could…
Three men…an American, a Japanese and an Irishman were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.…